You Scream, We Scream, ICE CREAM
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: Sabertooth has a bit of a Minerva situation, and they require Max's assistance. And Sting is a moron.


**I-See-Fairy-Tail on Tumblr requested MinMax for a prompt posted by otpdisaster.**

 **Prompt: "Your OTP both yelling and waving their arms as they run after a departing ice cream truck."**

 **Definitely in the Dark Sands/Unconventional Beauty-verse. Meaning slight LaLu and Freera mentions.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

* * *

Makarov glanced down at the flashing lacrima and sighed heavily. Wonderful. What did the Magic Council want with him _now_? It wasn't enough that he was finally stepping down as Guild Master (for like the fourth time)? He just wanted to retire in peace, without bureaucrats screeching in his face for his rowdy children.

He couldn't wait for Laxus to finally take over the reins. Lucy and Mirajane were entering the latter stages of their pregnancies, so Laxus had his hands full at the moment with his wife. But Makarov was eager to push his responsibilities onto the father-to-be.

After all, Makarov himself was already in his nineties. It was more than time for him to pass on leadership (permanently this time!). He wanted to spend as much time as he could with his great-grandchild when they arrived.

Also, there was no way in hell he was going to be in charge and responsible when the literal demon child was born. Someone else could deal with that. Hell-brats were out of his jurisdiction.

But for now, he needed to respond to the damn lacrima…

To his surprise, it wasn't the Council calling to gripe at him for whatever his rambunctious children had destroyed _this_ time.

"Sting!" Makarov exclaimed. "To what do I owe the _extreme_ honour of a _personal_ call from the Master of Sabertooth, himself?" It was mild, but there was a distinct rivalry between the two Guild Masters of Fairy Tail and Sabertooth. One that promised to worsen when Laxus eventually took over the leadership of Fairy Tail officially.

The blond dragon slayer rolled his eyes at the implied insult, but agreed, "Yes, it is a high honour. I'm pleased that you acknowledge that." At that moment, Makarov spotted a chair fly past the other Guild Master in the background. "In all seriousness, though… how is everyone at your guild? I heard from Minerva that Lucy is in the hospital? Is everything okay with her?"

Makarov nodded at the genuinely concerned man. "Everything is fine, for the most part. She has some sort of condition, I think. Wendy and Porlyusica wouldn't share the details with me, but Laxus is aware and has told me that she'll be fine. She'll just be confined to bedrest for the duration of her pregnancy. Mirajane has been with her near constantly."

Relief shone on Sting's face. "That's good to hear. Was worried about Blondie for a bit, there." He paused as frantic shouting erupted around him and a series of crashes resounded from the background. "Hold on second, would you?" Sting turned away from the lacrima. "SHUT THE HELL UP GUYS, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING?!" Then he faced the crystal communication device again. "Sorry about that."

Screams came from somewhere behind Sting, but he didn't turn around.

"Sting!" Rogue shouted. "Could use your help, dammit!"

"I'll be there in a minute!" he reassured his best friend.

"It's _your_ fault! We need you _now_ , asshole!"

Turning around, Sting let off a White Dragon's Roar… indoors. "There, you happy?!"

"Is everything… alright there, my boy?" Makarov inquired, somewhat concerned for the young Guild Master.

"LET ME KILL HIM ALREADY!" Minerva screeched.

Once again concentrating on Makarov, Sting nonchalantly shrugged at the question. "More or less." A thrown table narrowly skimmed the top of Sting's hair. As if he hadn't even noticed, Sting cheerily continued, "Although, this is kind of why I'm calling. Do you think you could send Max over? Got a bit of a Minerva situation on our hands and _chocolate is not working._ "

The old man stared. Was that… was that a fire in the background?

"…I'll send him right over."

"Much appreciated."

* * *

Max, immediately upon his arrival, strode straight through the chaos that Sabertooth's guild hall had become. When he reached his girlfriend, he didn't say a single word, and simply enveloped her in a hug.

Sting stared in amazed horror as Minerva abruptly went from crazed homicidal demon to sobbing snot-covered mess in under two seconds. "Dude," he muttered to Rogue, who was slumped in exhaustion against the wall beside the light dragon slayer. "How the hell does Max _do_ that?"

"I have no idea," the shadow dragon slayer admitted. "And quite frankly, I don't care."

After a couple of minutes of rubbing slow circles on Minerva's back, Max gently steered her in the direction of an upright and only slightly damaged table. "Why don't we sit down, get you something to eat, and then we'll talk about what's going on?" he suggested.

Minerva nodded slowly. "No food," she told him, a queasy expression on her face. "Just water." Once she had a glass of the liquid in front of her, she gripped it tightly.

"Alright… you think you can tell me what this was all about? It's not like you to just go off randomly on your guild mates."

The dark haired woman shot a baleful glare at her Guild Master. "I was sharing a piece of important, very personal news, and _someone_ just _had_ to make an insensitive comment about it."

"I'm sorry, okay?!" Sting howled in frustration. "I've said it a million times! What else do you want from me?!"

"ICE CREAM!" she demanded.

"And just where am I supposed to get that?!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

Max looked on in confusion. "I'm afraid that I still don't understand what's going on. But Sting…" The sand mage levelled a hard look uncharacteristic of his normal demeanor at the dragon slayer. "How dare you say that to Minerva? Whatever it was."

Minerva beamed at her boyfriend, her stormy disposition disappearing in an instant.

Groaning, Sting told, "I get it! I really do! I'm sorry I told her she was going to balloon up! I regret it immensely! It was rude and insensitive and I'm _sorry_."

"What?! Why would you –"

"Because I told them I was pregnant," Minerva informed him.

Her boyfriend froze. "What?"

"And then I threw up in the waste basket."

Max swallowed thickly. "Wait a second… _pregnant?_ "

"Yes," Minerva stated. "I was going to tell you first, but they were being annoying and withholding the waste basket."

"I'm… I'm going to be a… a father…?" Max asked, feeling faint.

"Yup."

Just then, the unmistakable jingle of an ice cream truck passed outside the guild.

Minerva was on her feet and halfway to the doors almost instantaneously. "Ice cream!" she shouted, throwing the doors open and racing down the street, waving her arms frantically to catch the driver's attention.

Max followed his girlfriend. "Wait I need some too after that!"

They'd deal with what this meant later. Right now, ice cream was far more important to the couple.

* * *

 **Seriously, don't say that shit to pregnant women. They will mess you the hell up.**


End file.
